ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2011-2021 Betches MEDIA LLC. BECCA KUFRIN, CHRIS HARRISON. Subscribe to The Betches Newsletter so you're not the only one in the group chat who doesn't know WTF is going on when we talk about celebs, reality TV, & more. Does he have a concrete example he can elaborate on? Girls, let me know if you need me to bring a shovel to bury the body! Found insideIn I Said Yes, Emily tells the story of her life before and after reality TV fame, describing the profound new reality she discovered when she forsook fame in favor of the Lord. I’m so here for it. When she’s not talking sh*t, she’s drinking $8 wine and contemplating ways to burn ABC studios down to the ground. I just watched Oprah give her first presidential campaign speech inspire people with her acceptance speech, and now literally anything can happen.Everyone, we are so fucking blessed. Welcome back Bachelor fans to another week where Colton didn't jump the fence because that is definitely all I'm watching for at this point. Have you seen the end of The Lion King? Watch with us tonight during our The Bachelorette 2017 Live Recap and see who went home on The Bachelorette 2017 tonight! Subscribe to The Betches Newsletter so you're not the only one in the group chat who doesn't know WTF is going on when we talk about celebs, reality TV, & more. The reality television star famed for being chosen and then dumped by Jason Mesnick of "The Bachelor" shares the story of her life and recovery from public heartbreak. Catch up on last week's Bachelor recap here!. Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis stop by before DeMario falls from grace. Published. Found insideFrom the weird and wonderful, from the Alan Pardew to the Kevin Keegan, the Ramble has it covered. Putting all aspects of the game under the microscope, this book is a timely reminder of why we just can’t take our minds off football. , Katie kicked off her season with a bang–and, unlike ABC, I’m not going to giggle like an 11-year-old boy after making that pun. Arie’s idea of a “good time” involves watching a girl try on dresses, buying her new shoes, and giving her overall styling advice. Every season there’s at least one person who makes it into the producer’s burn book. I’m Team Jenny, aka the team that talks shit, from now on. Catch her on Instagram (@ryprobst) where she’s either posting pictures of her dog or sliding into the DMs of former reality TV dating stars (you know who you are). Last week on The Bachelorette Season 13, it was premiere night and after chatting with some of her friends from The Bachelor 2017, Rachel started to meet these men. Also, minus five for DeMario for interacting with anyone for six months who has uttered the sentences below on national television. Interesting. At the very least, I was hoping he wouldn’t pee himself on stage, which felt like a very real possibility the longer that inquisition went on. Look, I know Stagecoach has become, like, an entire personality trait at this point, but did they have to model her outfit off of an Olsen twin’s How The West Was Fun costume? The dates start on The Bachelorette, but Clare thinks the guys aren't trying hard enough. Photo: Courtesy of ABC. While some of the men are already sporting chubbies at the thought of a clothing-optional date, poor Jesus Boy looks like he’s seconds away from calling his pastor for an emergency prayer session. "What does a woman do when her life has fallen apart and her heart has been ripped out and stepped on twice in two months? ‎The Betchelor is a Bachelor recap podcast presented by Kay Brown, Chris Burns and Jared Freid of Betches Media.. And no one is concerned about this?? Katie is a gorgeous girl and they have her dressed like a Slytherin at her first Yule Ball. If you're reading this, you've officially outlived David Spade's stint as a temporary celebrity host on season 7 of Bachelor in Paradise. Unlike me, Blake, who is here for everlasting love to be famous on Instagram. He might as well have a flashlight held up underneath his face for all the dramatic effect he’s going for. That’s where the Betches come in. We are dedicated to making you the most successful, betchiest career woman you can be. After all, we only became Betches after we worked like, really hard. This week, Jordana, Sami and Aleen are back to talk all about Jordana's bachelorette party this past weekend. Karl tries to save his ass by asking that the “person” who isn’t there for the right reasons come forward. This of course has everything to do with convenience for you, dear readers, and nothing at all to do with me being so violently hungover from LDW that my stomach still turns if anyone even thinks the words "green tea shots" near my general . Found insidePart-memoir, part girl's guide, Now Accepting Roses is full of never-before-told stories from behind the scenes of one of America's most popular television shows—but this book isn't just for fans of The Bachelor. The White Lotus, HBO's latest white male-created drama, is a show that follows the lives of eight people as they interact with Hawaii. Can’t wait to see what sort of chaotic energy we’re in store for tonight! Rachel: Peter loves dogs, which is so important to me ABC has enlisted comedian Heather McDonald to help Katie host a competition to see which of these men will make the best lover. I mean… the man, In the end, Katie also remembers the blow-up doll incident (I’m sure it was seared into her brain as it was in mine) and sends Cody home almost immediately. Creating finstas to see whose pictures he likes on IG? Someone’s agents need to work a little harder. Why does Rachel continuously refer to the celebrity guest spots as her “friends”. Only if he loses control over one of his other personalities. Like, Krystal, you didn’t spend your formative years in foster care or locked up in a basement. The limo arrivals are always awkward and funny. ABC/Eric McCandless. The Bachelorette season premiere recap: 'So many balls!' She gives an impassioned speech to the men telling them to GTFO of the house if they aren’t there to be her husband. Blake to Lucas: I know Lucas from a previous encounter reality show. I can read between the lines and right now I’m reading that bio as “has definitely disposed of a body through a Craigslist ad before.”. Before we begin, let's make one thing clear: FOUR HOURS OF THE BACHELORETTE IS TOO MUCH FOR ONE WEEK. I would just like to have it on record that every time I see these two together I seethe with jealousy. And while we know this is bullsh*t, Katie starts to spiral. Share. Bachelorette Katie Recap Episode 1 (Psst: Clicking on the guy's name will take you to his Instagram account!) Catch up on last week’s Bachelor recap here! Okay, Alexander Petrovsky that’s enough. I was hoping for a full season of commitment on that. We all knew this . - 'The Bachelorette' Recap, Week 2. Welcome back, friends, to the best Bachelorette recap you'll ever read! “On my kitten’s graves he never came to my house and broke up with me.”, “The last time he came to my apartment he was fucking me.”, Demario’s ex had to take a flight for this fight. And that’s what a strong independent 31-year-old woman does. Bachelorette Katie Recap | Week 6. They are so freaking cute, I can’t stand it. Ruh-roh! TV Recaps. Points for ignoring ABC’s exit clause in The Bachelor contract acting like you don’t give a shit, but you lost me when you said “I’m not sad about you, I’m just going to miss my friends.” We all know no one’s here to make friends. Why is everyone laughing when Arie tells them this news?? As if this “person” will just appear out of thin air simply because he manifests a villain to save his time on the show. ? The rose ceremony ends before we’re allowed any real resolution. And Arie, word of advice, if Becca wanted a sugar daddy she would have just gone to the local golf clubhouse in West Palm Beach. Most of all, these stories celebrate love as it exists in real life: a silly remark that leads to a lifetime together, a father who struggles to remember his son, ordinary moments that burn bright. 2019-05-21T14:24:00Z The letter F. An envelope. You’re not special. Replay. Similar to the theme of the first group date, the second group date is all about getting Katie off—I just didn’t realize that getting Katie off involved man-on-man mud wrestling. And we kicked off so many girls off the show this week so we really need to get all the secrets to what was happening in Colton's mind. That's right, Katie has narrowed down her list of eligible bachelors to her final two men: Blake and Justin. Here’s hoping Bibiana shoves that rose right up Krystal’s ass, because otherwise wtf am I doing here? There’s nothing more terrifying than a large group of straight men who sense your deepest insecurity. (Please don't pat yourself on the back. Bachelor Nation, are you popping more champagne? Jordana's Bachelorette Recap. Last season it was Sarah, who was somehow convinced multiple times to commandeer Matt James’ attention by stealing other women’s alone time. Mic drop, bitch. Lucas/Whaboom definitely won because he’s on like 50mg of Adderall. Yeah, this seems less like a wholesome date and more like it might end in the death of the weakest member in the group. Anyone who is not marginally delusional can tell that DeMario’s ex was definitely never actually his girlfriend but that DeMario was also definitely a fuckboy who kept their relationship vague and purely sexual. He spins a tale for Katie of a mysterious “not here for the right reasons” boogeyman. Found insideThe story of how Mario Lavandeira became Perez Hilton, the world's first and biggest celebrity blogger. With Perez's help, many promising young artists reached the masses – Katy Perry, Adele, Amy Winehouse, and Lady Gaga, to name a few. Seriously, Becca, watch your back, girlfriend. Alright, Jenny is real AF. So after a night of watching women lift up other women, I guess it’s time to tune in for a night of women tearing down other women emotionally, physically, and spiritually for a man who’s pushing 40 and has feminine hand gestures. I can’t root for this. Honestly, while I’m glad this guy survived productions’ attempt to send him walking into the nearest oncoming traffic, I don’t think he’ll last long here. and Mike answers entirely in question marks, I have never felt more secondhand embarrassment in my life. Next, they talk about the quasi-group therapy date led by Nick Viall, where Katie opens up about a past experience and and Thomas shares, well, a bit too muc… #TheBachelorette. Did Katie actually suggest a "fun idea" for the guys to "not partake in self-care?" Being pure as the driven snow, I stumbled through Katie's phrasing. If you’ll recall, Karl is the motivational speaker who so eloquently said in the first group date that being the perfect lover means “17 hours of f*ck action.” So, you could say his energy is just a constant state of mercury being in retrograde. I feel like I ask this question every season in the past couple of years, but have we reached a new low? Catch up on last week's 'Bachelorette' recap here!. recap: Naked truths. Yes, it's the day after July 4th and, yes, ABC had the audacity … The group date has the guys doing some bizarre whipped AF “husband material” obstacle course featuring Rachel’s “friends” Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. Tweet. This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do - because honestly, why else watch the show if not for the commentary… We’re watching this season and recapping it so you don’t have to. S14 E1 Recap . She has no problem handing out roses to the jackwagons to keep the season dramatic. Last season it was Sarah, who was somehow convinced multiple times to commandeer Matt James’ attention by stealing other women’s alone time. But even after last week's drama dissipates, another . 'The Bachelorette' recap: Week 2, Las Vegas. Karl is a very good motivational speaker. There is no mercy in the demon realm. 'Bachelorette' Episode 2 Season 16 Spoilers: Take a Peek at This Week's Dates Through Photos. I KNOW HE’S JUST HERE TO FURTHER YOUR WHABOOM! They start by sharing their thoughts on the Brendan-Pieper situation before getting to their Name. Aaron reveals that he knows Cody from home and doesn’t think he’s here for the right reasons. Who knew that when Katie sauntered up to Matt James with an adult toy in hand, she would one day be forever memorialized as the twenty-fifth woman to hold the title of Bachelorette? When last we left off, the Hyatt was starting to feel less like a nurturing environment for everlasting love and more like the location of sinister otherworldly energy. Twitter - https. Found inside – Page 1The book also features a foreword by her sister Maddie Ziegler, author of the New York Times bestseller The Maddie Diaries. Welcome to the funniest Bachelor recap on the planet. *throws wine glass at TV* YOU’RE TRASH, ARIE. As if this “person” will just appear out of thin air simply because he manifests a villain to save his time on the show. I guess whispering the intimate details of her Hinge profile into Arie’s ear that first night really paid off for her. 'Bachelor in Paradise' Recap: Brendan Morais Gets Exposed as a Liar 2 days ago 'Bachelor in Paradise' Recap: Becca Kufrin Joins the Beach 1 week ago See All Welcome back, friends, to the best Bachelorette recap you’ll ever read! Last night 'Bama Bachelorette, Hannah B., uttered a total of eight and a half words (an all-time record) and Cam creeped the hell out of us with his eyeballs that are trying to (rightfully so) get outta that skull of his! This week on "The Bachelorette": A bachelor gets his bell rung during a boxing date, and Amy Schumer helps the guys with some funny business. Sarah’s time on the show ended much like Scar’s reign over Pride Rock: in a blaze of metaphorical fire with hyenas (Queen Victoria and her minions) eating her carcass alive on national television. More importantly, which producer did she blow to get the first one-on-one? He managed to score both the first one-on-one date of the season and the first spot on every man’s hit list. Does he have a concrete example he can elaborate on? ^^me trying to figure out why the fuck Seinne is on this show. It's the fourth week of Bachelor in Paradise and Kay, Chris, and Jared are back to recap it all. Just saying. Up Next in News. Spoiler alert: they don’t have one. I would rather peel off my flesh with a rusty spoon than listen to a guy relive his high school glory days on the first date but, ya know, to each their own. recap: The Ex Factor. shares. HE’S A WHAFAKE! It's Week 2 in the mansion, and despite making Blake K. leave and letting Whaboom, tickle monster, and erectile dysfunction guy stay, I'm still rooting for Rachel to find love with one of . Later, Greg reveals that his dad passed away suddenly from cancer. She looked amazing, she gave zero fucks or tears about telling DeMario to GTFO, and she even used her date with Peter to get out of paying a dog sitter. still thinking about this #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/bPw67hYIQ8. By Mike Krolak. Pretty Woman must be Arie’s favorite movie, because he forces Becca K to reenact every scene with him during this weird AF styling date. LIVE. Photo: Courtesy of ABC. I’m sure they could find an incriminating DM in five seconds flat. Each week, we'll be tracking the moment when The Bachelor decides to once again remind us that Peter is a pilot . 'The Bachelorette' recap: week 5, part 2. Y’all, if a guy ever opened a present he got for me and said “these are Louboutins” in such reverent tones, I would laugh in his homosexual face. As you might have guessed, this date is all about sex! Look, Katie, this is not the crowd you want smelling your fear. Bachelorette Tayshia Recap | Week 7 . That’s not how manifestation works! FULL recap of The Bachelorette week 2 with the Luggage Guy himself. It becomes evident mid-mud wrestle that this date is actually not about Katie at all, but is rather a half-baked date idea to remind us of the fight that wasn’t on night one between Cody and Aaron. Seeing Bri, Michelle, Serena P. and Rachael get the hometown treatment with Matt James during Week 8 was difficult. The Bachelorette. Later in the evening, Mike reveals that he feels bad for his future wife because of “all of that pent-up energy” and Katie and I both can barely contain our shudders just thinking about the three minutes of vigorous dry humping that woman will experience on their honeymoon. Everyone, we are so fucking blessed. He literally will not stop talking shit about Lucas and watching this dumb shit unfold must be how men feel when they watch Real Housewives. What does it mean to “further your Whaboom?” Is this the new Scientology? Her spiritual gifts are making out and supple skin. How did Ashton know that Mila was “the one” at first sight when he met her before he was married to Demi Moore for like, 10 years? Krystal aka the girl who led with “I’m a Libra” gets the second one-on-one date of the week. A recap of Week 2 of the Bachelor spinoff series Listen to Your Heart, season 1 episode 2. I'm just wondering where Bri's accent went?? And what do you know! BIBIANA: Do your workout, and meditate for a little bit on the hole you just dug for yourself. Literally every fuckboy’s body language when you confront him about the shady shit he’s done. It's week 2 of 'The Bachelorette' and a contestant has already told Hannah B. that he's falling in love with her. Do you and Krystal both like dipping Oreos in peanut butter? Welcome back to the best Bachelorette recap you'll ever read! The white guys are like shitting themselves over this basketball game. Blake the aspiring drummer needs to drum his way out of here. Found insideThis volume of essays, axioms, original illustrations, and photos provides Seales’s trademark “self-help from the hip” style of commentary, fueled by ideology formed from her own victories, struggles, research, mistakes, risks, and ... Cause it’s unclear to me rn. This week on The Bachelorette, Rachel proved to be one of the betchiest Bachelorettes in history. The New York Times bestselling authors of Nice Is Just a Place in France and When’s Happy Hour? and creators of the online humor and advice phenomenon Betches.com and Instagram account @Betches explain the brutal truths of how to date ... Keep up with everything happening in Bachelor Nation by signing up for the Betchelor Breakdown. Hey, "Bachelor Nation" fans. My suspicions are only reinforced during the first group date when the men are led to an undisclosed location where Katie tells them things are about to get “raw and real.” Those are the exact words my mother used to describe chafing to me after I hit puberty early and experienced a huge weight gain, but I’m sure the producers were going for more sexual undertones when they added that line to Katie’s script. It’s v unsettling. It’s almost as if ABC won’t allow us to get through one episode without forcing unwanted drama upon the masses. I’ve never been more disturbed in my life than watching Arie and Baby Bekah (I’m never calling her anything else) flirt with each other. Katie's Big Brawl on THE BACHELORETTE Season 17 Week 2 Recap. 00 . Catch her on Instagram (@ryprobst) where she’s either posting pictures of her dog or sliding into the DMs of former reality TV dating stars (you know who you are). Bachelor In Paradise Recap, week 2 night 1. Found insideA warm and loving message of welcome to newborn babies, You Belong--a picture book from singer-songwriter Rachel Platten and illustrator Marcin Piwowarski--will touch the hearts of everyone. To start off, I don't like Luke P. I just get bad vibes from a guy who doesn't give a girl his jacket in the cold. If that’s the end goal, then it’s troubling that I don’t see her vibrator in the crowd. Is that metallic… green?? Mike doesn’t even receive the group date rose. I just learned that there are still people here who aren’t here for the right f*cking reason. A recap of the season 16 premiere of The Bachelorette, filmed in a bubble during the COVID pandemic, and . That’s not how manifestation works! The first date card is presented to the girls, and I always forget the level of desperation at this stage in the game. 'The Bachelor' Recap: Week 2. A recap of The Bachelorette on ABC, season 16 episode 2. Here we are, back with The Bachelorette for week two, when we still believe in unrealistic expectations of love and wonder how it will (or will not?) THE MEN: Though it might seem this date was intended for comedic relief (and possibly to help Katie weed out the men who understand female pleasure from the men who have just had sex with a woman), really this date was crafted with the sole intent of getting Jesus Boy to cry. Found insideHe's Making You Crazy will give you the motivation you need to get out of an unhealthy relationship (the one that's making you crazy!), the wisdom to step up and admit when you're the one in the wrong, and the courage to keep your heart ... Katie, you’re too pretty for what they’re doing to you. May the odds be ever in your favor, ladies! Look, Katie, this is not the crowd you want smelling your fear. Carry on. This weekly podcast follows the latest episodes and makes fun of all the ridiculous things the contestants say and do - because honestly, why else watch the show if not for the commentary? Have you seen. He does realize the goal at the end of all of this is to have the girls actually want to sleep with him and not just call him for outfit advice before a date with someone they actually want to bang, right? Why is she on this show again? Boys, boys, boys. 'The Bachelorette' week 2 recap Clare starts to warm up to some of the guys… others, not so much. Meanwhile, the entire mansion is planning ways to murder Krystal and get away with it. In the span of 120 minutes (100 of which were devoted to Blake's masturbatory habits—absolutely sinister, I […] Absolutely not. October 20, 2020 at 10:00 PM EDT. While most of the men take this as an opportunity to use various props to describe their penis size, Mike decides to turn his virginity into spoken word poetry. Look, going after the virgin seems like low-hanging fruit to me but whatever you need to do for ratings, amiright ABC? If those names sound surprising to you, that's because her selection process was done much […] Though it might seem this date was intended for comedic relief (and possibly to help Katie weed out the men who understand female pleasure from the men who have just had sex with a woman), really this date was crafted with the sole intent of getting Jesus Boy to cry. ^. ARIE: When I graduated my dad had to bribe the manager of Pizza Hut to give me a job. Asking for a friend. Listen on Apple Podcasts. This was a week of firsts on The Bachelor. She is a true class act. SEINNE: …and then last year I solved world peace. We are back in action to give you guys some new spoiler scoops for the next, new episode 2 of The Bachelorette 2021 edition with headliner Katie Thurston. I love how the guys act so surprised that someone would come on this show with a girlfriend fuck buddy, that only happens at least once EVERY OTHER SEASON. This is something grandparents do in their old age so they don’t lose each other in crowds. Rachel: A friend of mine was in an accident, so he’s going to come on our date today if that’s okay? Pictured (l-r): AARON, CODY. Next, they talk about the quasi-group therapy date led by Nick Viall, where Katie opens up about a past experience and and Thomas shares, well, a bit too muc… Karl is the first shark to capitalize off her fragile mindset when he takes it upon himself to start sh*t at the rose ceremony. Okay Seinne is beautiful, a Yale graduate, well-traveled, and can run down bitches with her in her sleep. (Seriously, no one will forget. But back to Greg and Katie! flipped into Betches. Clare Crawley is going to destroy the concept of toxic masculinity if it's the last thing she does. It becomes evident mid-mud wrestle that this date is actually not about Katie at all, but is rather a half-baked date idea to remind us of the fight that wasn’t on night one between Cody and Aaron. Let’s get real and say you’ll miss the Instagram followers and the constant day drinking, mkay? It was probably fantastic . Also, let’s take a step back and analyze this date for a hot second, shall we? First, they discuss a recent rumor regarding Scooter Braun and Erica Jane, which leads Jordana to share a story about meeting Scooter in person. and Mike answers entirely in question marks, I have never felt more secondhand embarrassment in my life. Welcome back to the best Bachelor in Paradise recap you'll ever read! She’s not asking you to solve a wizard’s riddle, she’s asking you about a woman’s climax! Like, what am I even watching rn? Buddy, this isn’t. Meanwhile, Rachel’s dog runs around a pool party unsupervised wearing a plaster cast. New The Bachelorette Spoilers For June 14, 2021 Episode 2 Revealed. Only if he loses control over one of his other personalities. I just watched Oprah give her first presidential campaign speech inspire people with her acceptance speech, and now literally anything can happen. Even if he does, will her husband ever stop hunting her? This is not the first woman Austin Stephens has helped, but she is the only one who has him spinning in the wind. Photo: ABC/Craig Sjodin "The Bachelorette" season 25 had Katie Thurston going out on two Group Dates, and one, one-on-one date. Blake's entry into the competition is also Hunter's villain origin story. Posted By Snooper Smith on February 21, 2019 . Bachelorette Becca Kufrin and her three remaining suitors—Blake, Garrett, and Jason—made the long trip to Thailand for Week 9 of The Bachelorette 2018 to continue Becca's quest to find true love. Sarah’s time on the show ended much like Scar’s reign over Pride Rock: in a blaze of metaphorical fire with hyenas (Queen Victoria and her minions) eating her carcass alive on national television. Bachelor in Paradise Season 7, Episode 2 Recap: The Real W. Last week on Bachelor in Paradise, we got Sad But Then Happy Grocery Store Joe, a lukewarm date between Abigail and Noah . The first half of the date consists of Heather quizzing the men on their basic understanding of female sexuality. The . Bachelor In Paradise Recap, week 2 night 1. Greg had another outstanding performance tonight. Swim, bitch, swim! Does Arie’s mom look a lot like Krystal? flourish in an absurdly short period of time. He spins a tale for Katie of a mysterious “not here for the right reasons” boogeyman. ? When was the last time they had sex?) I just didn’t realize that getting Katie off involved man-on-man mud wrestling. Eventually the men are tasked with one final humiliation: prove to Katie ON STAGE how they’ll be the perfect lover. ABC's Jack Sheahan has all the dramatic details. If only he could find her… Now, in The First Time, Colton opens up about how he came to find himself and true love at the same time via the Bachelor franchise. May 29, 2017 at 10:00 PM EDT. What’s the best tool needed for a female orgasm? Bachelorette Recap for Week 2 : Chris Harrison Quote-Tweeted Me. This is a loss for all of us.) *slow claps* Wooowwww that was one savage af exit. Pretty much everyone in America’s reaction to the idea that Kareem Abdul Jabbar is going to give Rachel advice on love and relationships. Her look for the cowboy themed group date was… a choice. The Best Bachelor Recap You'll Ever Read: Week 1 - Betches Love This Yay, The Bachelor season 389562837428 has finally begun and we're just so happy we don't have to look at Ben's ugly face and be reminded he looks like Jan 11, 2011. . As usual, last week's Bachelor premiere left off at a high point of drama. @Betches. Rachel: You’re not being honest so you can get the fuck out. I hate them already. The Bachelor 2020 airs on ABC this evening with an all-new Monday, January 11, 2021, season 25 episode 2 and we have your The Bachelor recap below.On tonight's The Bachelor season 25 episode 2 as per the ABC synopsis, "The 24 women who survived the rose ceremony on arrival night discover that dating Matt is intoxicating although the atmosphere among the women is plain toxic.

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